Try Forgiveness

hen a person we truly loved and trusted one day betrayed and hurt us, forgiving can be the hardest thing to do. Usually, we hold the grudge and be bitter about it. Alexander Pope once said, “To err is human, to forgive divine.” In a world where people constantly make mistakes and where conflicts are as inevitable as breathing, it can be said that truly forgiving can only be done by a perfect individual—someone who is as ‘divine’ as God Himself. However, no one is perfect and martyrdom has long passed ages, but we are called to forgive everyone who trespasses against us, no matter how deplorable they did us.

We are all capable of forgiveness. Painful events happen in our lives, and we sometimes get too caught into it and can’t move past it. Forgiveness does not happen overnight, especially if the scar inflicted to us by such situation cuts deep. Forgiveness, like all things, is a process.

Everyone deserves pardon for those who ask for it. It always amount to the degree of grief caused upon you. Let us bear in mind that bad behaviour is not always black and white. There are motives why people do this or do that.

One way to the path of genuine clemency is confrontation. Talk to the person who has done you wrong. Clear it all out.  Ask for explanations, assure that it will not happen again. However, before you do that, it is best to have a list of your grievances and read it aloud to a friend before the actual confrontation. This makes the ‘confrontation’ less ‘confrontational.’

Avoid reminiscing and keeping memories of the past, such as rereading old text messages. This will only make you relive the hurt. Try to put yourself in the shoes of the person who have committed the mistake. By seeing his side of the story, you probably will be able to understand—and bear—what happened. Realize also that the experiences you have had can be meaningful and contributory to your growth as a human person. Forgiving is empowering, as well as freeing.

Holding grudges is like carrying extra weight on your shoulders. The only person who is really being punished is you. It is okay to be angry and cautious when someone has done something bad, but let us remember that forgiveness is your right and the right of everybody. Forgiveness is not just good for the soul, it can be good to your health to. Let bygones be bygones. Bury the hatchet. If God forgave, so can you.